Einfach mich

Not much to say except that everything is going good!

Still no job, but I don’t care. I’m taking care of myself. I’m doing exercice again. Only 10 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes to 1 hour at night. Nothing like before. Nope, I won’t go back to 2hours each single night. And if I skip one evening, I don’t care and I might even have a chocolate bar while watching TV (back to Gossip Girl (Season 4!!!))… and guilt, well, it doesn’t show up at all! YES!

But I might say… that my self esteem is not as high as I would like (5/10), but I came down to that conclusion: 1 year to “get rid” of my EDNOS… and one more year to fully build myself back. Long road, but ain’t that long really! What is 2 years in my whole life to build myself back compare to a life time of self-hatred? Not much!

On a different note, I had my first appointment with legal aid last week. I just have to bring some paperwork (like my ex’s last known address… which I found today! Thanks God that his mom, regardless of the fact that she moved, kept the same phone number!) and Lil’One’s last name will be changed. No more W****** attached to her name, just a good old D******, the only last name I ever knew… Anyway, she might have 50% of is genes, but everything she is, everything she knows, my Man and I taught her.

Hi everyone!

Quick news, before Lil’One starting to make a fuss next to me lol

Still no job, but had an interview yesterday where one of my cousin works. She told me I did fine, so I’m crossing my fingers. I will know the answer on thursday at the latest.

EDNOS wise well… let say that I was a bit nervous cuz of the interview, so I didn’t ate a lot in the past few days. It scares me a bit because I’m starting to like back the weight loss and all the side effects (empty stomach, light headed…). But do not guys be worry ‘bout me. I always end up eating healthy things… like home made bread white 100% peannut butter… or fruit salad… or greek yogurt with seeds and nuts in it. But still, even after 8 months, I’ve got to watch my toughts, my way of thinking ‘bout me…

Ok, gotta go cuz Lil’One is driving me crazy here at the Cafe! LOL Well… a 5 y.o. who gotta stay still during 15 minutes lol That NEVER happens, no matter the wishing lol

Everything is all good for me!

I even went back to training a bit (1/2 hour before breakfast). Nothing too extreme this time. I want to get healthy. Not thin, not skinny, healthy, that’s it! I even cut down on coffee… Now it’s 2 coffees in the morning, 1 teapot of Gunpowder tea in the afternoon and 1 teapot of mint herbal tea in the evening. Plenty of water! My skin is just happy ‘bout all this (I had TERRIBLE outbreaks of pimple during the last year… might have been the stress at my old workplace but still). Almost no more pimples (2-3 instead of 15-20) and no more greassy looking skin (YES!).

I know that my food intake is not the best yet… but slowly, I’ll reach my goal (still not enough). I just decided to cut down on the sugar (but not always. If I feel like having a home-made cupcake with the icing on it, I’ll eat it… and no guilt is coming so :D)

Yep, I think that between EDNOS and I, it’s over. Sometimes I wish I could go back, but nahhhhhhhhh… I know where it leads and nope. I’m halfway on the top of the recovery mountain so… I’d only be stupid to let myself fall!

Anyway, even if I’m not online often, I think ‘bout my followers. I REALLY hope that everyone are doing ok due to their own personal circonstances. I know that some are stuck with the illness, some are doing better, but the only things I wish to all of you guys are recovery, self-acceptance, sel-love. When you’ll be able of that, the whole world will smile at you back. Yep, my period of darkness is over. Light and love now rule my life.

… almost cried this morning because I feel so good about myself!

Hey everyone!

I hope that some of you missed me. Things have been happening to me lately.

1st. Main reason why I’m not posting lately… I’ve been fired because I couldn’t meet the deadline… NO! REALLY! OMG! … where have you guys been when I was alone doing the work of 2 in the summer and when I was alone doing work for thee during the holidays… and I sould’ve been able to do all this plus my basic main work. You guys are dreaming if you think I’ll kill myself over 13$ an hour… oh! Sorry! 13,1055$ and hour. Thanks (but really, shove it deep down your ass) for the raise! … when the work insurance are raising by 9% and the cost of life by 2,3%… this pay raise was about 1%… and I was suppose to call that a raise… yep.

2nd. Remember I had a lump somewhere I needed to get removed? Well, I went yesterday for a one-day surgery. Came in a 7 in the morning (empty stomach since midnight), the put me to sleep, cut it out, stiched me and I was at home at 3 pm. Ok, it hurs a bit, it’s stings a bit and hitch a bit, but all good. I’m equiped with poceth (mix of tylenol and codeine). At least, Lil’One is a hell of a nurse! She helsp me a lot and understand that I cannot do everything like I used to…just for a couple of day. I guess I’ll be back on my feet completely on monday-tuesday… Life giving you, sometimes, these awkward but nice coincidence, my Man and I, last week stacked the refregirator and cooked a lot. So at least, I just have to do a bit, mini mini bit of prep for the meals!

3rd. My recovery. I guess I’m still doing good. I mean, I pretty much think that I’m pretty almost every day. I don’t really have bad thoughts ‘bout myself anymore. The only thing is, since I stopped working, I started eating because I get bored. But, since I noticed that, well, I can stop it. Healty snacks, nothing else. No more syrup-waffles or pancakes. Only fruits, cheese, crakers… maybe peannut butter, but just 1 spoon full… not 5 or 6!

So basically, If I was able to get in touch with you guys, it’s because my neighboor needed a sitter of 2 hours for his year and a half little guy (a blond little cherubim with blue eyes). Thanks neighboor! I was DEPERATLY in need of an internet touch! Me, without any web browsing for 2 weeks straight??? URRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Worst torture ever!

Well, like they were saying after each Bugs Bunny TV Show: That’s all folks!

****Cue musilc from the Warner Bros lolllllllllllllll****

can probably do the best for me right now.

Busy evening though. 6:00 appointment at the eye specialist for Lil’One and 7:30, appointement at the haridresser for me.

It doesn’t seem THAT busy, but it’s all the running around… Lil’One sitter lives near of the 1st avenue. The eye sepcialist is on the 3rd. I live past the 6th. Hairdresser is near of the 1st.

So, I have to go to Lil’One appointement, bring her back home, put her to bed and go to my appointement… Hope I won’t be late. At least, she’ll have dinner at the sitter… and I’ll have mine on the way to the sitter, so I won’t skip a meal. Last thing I wanna do is skipping right now.

Last evening, I tried something when I was hungry… eating a meal instead of munching on every sweets I can get my hand on… Results: I had a wrap sandwich, a bit of pasta salad and a small bowl of ice cream. I took me 20 miniutes to eat it all instead of 1 hour of munching….. yep, I’ll do that more often!